Developing Foundations for Healthy RelationshipsSample

The relationship between David and Saul (Part 2)

When we left off the story yesterday, David had just defeated Goliath. Saul liked David, and David helped Saul. It was a win-win relationship, but that all went quickly downhill.

1 Samuel 18:6-77 tells us that:

“the women came out from all the towns of Israel to meet King Saul with singing and dancing, with joyful songs and with timbrels and lyres. As they danced, they sang:

“Saul has slain his thousands,
and David his tens of thousands.”

As you can imagine, this did not sit well with Saul. It was a not-so-subtle backhanded compliment along the lines of “Saul you are good, but David you are fantastic.” Somewhat understandably, this made Saul angry. Very angry. Furious, in fact. Saul became afraid of David, and so did what any logical person would try to do next: he tried to kill him. Many times. For example, on more than one occasion, Saul tried to spear David and pin him to a wall (1 Samuel 18:10-11, as you do).

As Israel grew to love David, Saul grew to despise him. Again and again, Saul tried to kill David, and David escaped his plans (mostly with the help of Saul’s son Jonathan and daughter Michal, who also happened to be his best friend and his wife. Talk about complicated family dynamics). It is during this time that many Psalms were written by David (for example, 18, 57, 59, 63, 70, and 142).

On one occasion (the story is in 1 Samuel 24), Saul took three thousand men (perhaps a little overkill?) from Israel to look for David, but he was hiding in a cave. Needing to go pee, Saul happened to go into this very same cave - giving David the perfect opportunity to kill him. But instead, David simply crept up behind him and cut off a piece of his robe. Feeling very bad about this, we come to the story in today’s Bible reading (if you haven’t already, pause now and go read it).

The short version is this: David chose humility, choosing to not only not kill Saul, but instead prostrate himself before him. Moral of the story: David feared God more than Saul.

From here, believe it or not, their relationship only continued to deteriorate, and the end of Saul’s life was not pretty. The Philistines killed Saul’s sons and then critically wounded him. Afraid of being captured and tortured, Saul asked his armor-bearer to kill him (not David anymore), but he refused. And so, Saul fell on his own sword and died.

In tomorrow's study we will look in depth at the relationship between David and Saul, and specifically at the relational foundation of what it means to have a Godly character. Today, let’s lay the groundwork:

A person’s character is made up of many things, specifically the mental and moral qualities that make them who they are. It is the sum of how they think, feel, and behave. It is who we truly are, which is usually displayed most vividly when we are alone or when we are faced with trial or adversity (such was the case with both David and Saul).

Imagine for a moment that it is your funeral, and your loved ones are describing your character. If you could pick three things for them to say about you, what would they be? Not things that are currently true but things that you aspire to be true. If it’s helpful, use these prompts are a guide (take a moment to journal or think through your answers):

He/she was….

He/she never …

He/she always…

Are there any practical steps you need to take today in order to ensure that these are the character qualities that you are remembered for?

If God were to answer the above question, do you think He would choose the same character qualities for yourself or different ones? Why do you think that is?

Spend some time in prayer or journaling out your thoughts with the Lord.