Love After Marriage- Emotional IntimacySample

Day 3: Cultivating Healthy Intimacy

A prerequisite to your intimacy is self-knowledge and taking ownership of the truth about yourself. Jesus said in John 8:31-32, “If you abide in My words, you are truly My disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” The only way for us to know the truth, even about ourselves, is to listen to and be submitted to the words of Jesus and the voice of the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Truth. It is vital that you are truthful and acknowledge your strengths and your weaknesses. If you don’t recognize and use your strengths and good qualities, you won’t have the ability to bring these qualities into your marriage. When you don’t fully face your weaknesses and faults, you typically end up projecting these negative attributes on your spouse. That means, you will see your own weaknesses in your spouse but not in yourself.

To cultivate healthy intimacy you must, 1) Be willing to take calculated risks in your communication. 2) Be sure to ask questions; then listen and observe. 3) Be willing to risk a negative response and keep working on connecting. 4) Care about how you affect the other person in the relationship. 5) Keep sexuality as a physical picture of the emotional intimacy exclusive to marriage. 6) Have the willingness to change in an intimate relationship that is motivated primarily out of love rather than fear of loss. And lastly, 7) Know that deep knowing takes time.

Ponder & Pray: Lord, are there ways that I avoid learning the wonderful art of speaking the truth in love because I protect myself/and or my spouse from the pain of conflict? (Take a moment to listen and then discuss with your spouse)

Activation: Try and think about 3 interesting facts that you think your spouse doesn’t know about you; share them with each other.