Three Habits of a Peacemaker From Archbishop Justin WelbySample

Be Present

The second habit of peacemaking is: be present.

We live in a world where it is often much easier to be distracted than to be fully present. It is even harder to stay present when difference makes us fearful or conflict makes us anxious. In these situations, our instinct is often to withdraw.

But choosing instead to be present–to show up and stick around–can make all the difference. We worship the God who chose to be reconciled to us by being fully present with us. He became human, dwelt among us (John 1:14), and lived a life exposed to pain, disappointment, and relationships that go wrong. Rather than turning away from complexity and fracture, he stepped into them fully and was not afraid of conflict (see, for example, the story of Jesus’ dinner at the house of Simon the Pharisee–Luke 7:36-50). Amidst all the pressures of his ministry, Jesus frequently offers the gift of unhurried time in the presence of others.

Distance and hurry are ideal conditions for conflict. Giving our full attention to the one we disagree with, listening with intent, taking time to share space together–all these enable us to encounter one another three-dimensionally and to build trust. We begin to move from hostility to hospitality, from disconnection to empathy.

Being present also means having the courage to bring our unique selves to those encounters–our mind, body, and soul. It means bringing some of our insecurities and questions, as well as our convictions and our strengths, into the encounter with honesty. Doing this helps us to build trust across difference, so that we can share honestly about our differences.

Questions to pray about and reflect on:

• In what situations do I find it hardest to be present as myself?
• How could I practice being present with people who are different from me?