Made to RelateSample

Divorce

In Mark 10, Jesus is confronted by religious leaders who want to know what he thinks makes a lawful divorce, according to the Old Testament Scriptures. Of course, their goal is to try and trap Jesus, not to learn from him.

In Deuteronomy 24:1, it says “If a man marries a woman, but she becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, he may write her a divorce certificate, hand it to her, and send her away from his house.”

The issue at hand is that various streams of Judaism interpreted it differently. For some, “displeasing” was defined only as adultery. For other groups, it could be something as simple as a man not liking any number of things about his wife. So what does Jesus say?

Jesus here emphasizes not how to legally get out of a marriage without sinning, but rather the value of marriage itself. For clarity, Jesus’ purpose is to argue for the permanence of marriage, not to accuse people of adultery (even if this is an implication). For Jesus, your spouse is not a piece of property but your own bone and flesh. In the ancient world, wives were legally under their husbands. For Jesus, a wife was a husband’s co-equal partner.

So Jesus is focusing not on how to get out of a marriage, but rather how to stay in it. Jesus’ point here is that marriage is a big deal to God, so it should be a big deal to us. That being said, it is important to understand a few things when reading this text:

1. Jesus is responding to hostile questioners who are trying to trap him. (His answer is directed at bitter opponents whom he has accused previously of mishandling scripture and distorting God’s will.)
2. Jesus is presenting God’s ideal for marriage, not addressing every possible scenario.
3. Jesus is not addressing people contemplating divorce or struggling with a broken marriage.
4. Jesus is not addressing someone who has experienced a divorce. (So we should not expect to find in this text instructions on pastoral care and support of people who have been divorced.)

While the truth would not change, all we can do is think and consider what Jesus might have said in a different situation to different people. What we can do, however, is see how Jesus interacted with people who were divorced or committed adultery. In the New Testament, we have two such examples.

In John 8:7-11, Jesus was presented with a woman caught in the act of adultery. And what did Jesus do? He offered her grace and encouraged her to no longer continue in her sin. He didn’t condemn. He didn’t turn his back on her.

Another example is in John 4, where Jesus interacts with a Samaritan woman who had been married five times and was currently living with a man who was not her husband. What did Jesus do there? Well, he explained to her that he offers living water. After she realizes he is a prophet she rushes back in to town to tell everyone what just happened, and then they convinced Jesus to stay with them for a few days. And in John 4:39 it says, “Now many Samaritans from that town believed in him because of what the woman said when she testified, ‘He told me everything I ever did.’”

In other words, Jesus used a divorced woman multiple times over to change the trajectory of an entire town. So practically speaking, from Mark 10 and these two examples, here are a couple of things we see:

• Marriage is a big deal to God
• Marriage was created for a man and a woman as co-equal partners
• Divorce is not an unpardonable sin

So even if someone divorces in an unbiblical manner, they are not second class citizens in God’s kingdom. They are redeemed and loved just the same as everyone else.

Ultimately, we also know that Jesus will never divorce his bride. As we look at Ephesians 5 in our previous days’ devotional, Jesus is the ultimate example of the husband who lays down his life for his wife.

Jesus laid down his life for the church, and no matter who we are or what we have done, his commitment to his people is unchanged.

Today’s reflection

Modeling the way of Jesus, how can we better respond with love and grace to those who have experienced divorce?

Going Deeper

To hear more great insights from Dylan Dodson, sign up for his The Best Minute Newsletter here. Each week he sends out a simple, yet practically helpful, email with 1 idea from him, 2 quotes from others, 1 interesting fact, and 1 question to leave you with. Click here to get the Best Minute.