Lemons on Friday: Trusting God Through My Greatest HeartbreakSample

Why Does God Allow Suffering?

When I was twenty-three, I spent fall working the harvest with a prestigious winery in Napa Valley. Glamorous, right? Wrong. Grape growing is agriculture. It’s farming. Wine making requires long days, early hours, and labor-intensive, dirty work—not just for those making the wine but for the poor grapes themselves. Often, the more the grapes “suffer” during development, the more opulent the finished product turns out to be. You see, in cultivating premium wine grapes, stress is everything: rocky, barren topsoil creates deep sturdy roots; pruning eliminates weak fruit and foilage that can block necessary sunlight.

This has been my experience through grief. In seasons of depletion and brokenness, endurance comes not through what we branches can do for ourselves but through the solidly rooted vine to which we are grafted and by careful branch pruning done by the vintner (see John 15:1–5). My prayer for all of us in our barren, rocky seasons is that we remember that we are not the vine keeper. We can hold the lament of what has passed with the hope of what is promised; the pain of what’s been pruned away for the fruit we’re hopeful will come. And ultimately, that our healing won’t be in the strength of our branches but in the strength and desperation of our roots.

Even though I grew up in Christian culture, it took experiencing real hardship for my weak, surface-level roots to reach deep and grow secure. No matter how you were raised, how long you’ve been in faith, or whether you’re still grappling with what you believe, God is ready and able to strengthen your roots. We serve a God who isn’t afraid to let us struggle or be stressed because he knows that’s how we grow into the richest version of ourselves. He knows that we not only gain spiritual strength but also get to know him, the Vinedresser, even more intimately through suffering.

I believe in a sovereign God who uses all things, even bad things, for the good of those who love him (see Romans 8:28). Suffering can not only embolden our faith but also reveal a richer, more intimate understanding of who God is. As a young woman I walked alongside my mom through cancer, and my faith became sturdier in the process. It forced me to shift my self-reliance toward God-reliance. It was an important season of root deepening. 

But it wasn’t until losing Ben that I truly got to know Jesus as my personal friend, the only one that could fill the gaping hole of grief I faced. I began to know him not just as the one who saved me but also as one who wants to sit beside me. Trust me when I say knowing Jesus more intimately is worth the tears we cry and storms we endure here on earth. He is not a consolation for what you’ve lost; he is a greater companion than you can ever imagine. Through my loss my roots have deepened. And yours can too if you rely on and abide in the Lord in your suffering.

Respond

What have you learned about why God allows suffering?

What challenges and trials have you faced that have brought you closer to God?

How does the image of the vine and the branches in John 15:1–5 help you rely on Jesus and grow in faith?

Prayer

Lord Jesus, thank you that I don’t have to walk through suffering alone or in my own strength. Thank you that I can abide in you and draw power and grow in faith from your presence. Help me to turn to you in my pain and find hope in the fruit you want to produce in my life. Amen.