Finding Great FriendsSample

Now that you know to be cautious and have a better idea of what to guard against, let’s talk a little about what a good friend does look like—and let’s take our advice straight from the Bible.

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (John 15:13)

Often we use this verse to talk about a person who literally lays down his life for someone else, dying in some sacrificial way to save another. But that’s only one application that robs the verse of its transforming power. 

• I lay down my life for another when I drop my plans in order to watch her kids while she goes to the dentist. Or the doctor. Or on a date with her husband.


• I lay down my life for another when I make a meal for a family who’s going through a difficult time.


• A friend laid down her life for me when she brought me milk for my family the day after I came home from surgery.


• A friend and her daughter laid down their lives for me when they took a couple hours to clean my house during a time I was struggling with depression.

You get the idea. This is not rocket science. It’s taking the time to think of another person, of how you can be helpful or add blessing to their day. 

And one caution: Doormats always let the other choose or dictate the blessing; good friends consider each other and take turns. That doesn’t mean that once you bless someone, you have to wait for them to bless you before you can bless them again. But guard against one-sided relationships in those friendships that you hold closest to you.