Hope is a Fist in the Face of Surrender

Years ago, I asked our friend Nancy how she was doing since her accomplished husband had died. It was the first time I’d seen her since that happened. I’ve never forgotten what she told me: “Ron, this is the final exam. And you can’t cram for it. You’re either ready or you’re not.”

It really is the final exam.  

A crisis of hope is usually triggered by losing one of our life anchors—a person, financial security, health, job, marriage, independence, or just our confidence in the future.

But in the face of loss, hope is buoyant confidence. You can push a cork under the water, but as soon as you let go, it’s coming back up! You can sink it, but you can’t drown it.

Defiant hope doesn’t mean you don’t go down. It means you don’t stay down. 

You didn’t have a choice about the hit or the hurt. But you do have a choice about the hope.

Without the choices that unleash hope, we are defined by our loss, our wounds, our fear. So there’s a decision to be made.

We must challenge hopelessness—resist—not to deny the pain, but to refuse to be defined by the pain.

Hope is usually not our default response when we’re hit hard or hurt deeply. Instead, there’s depression, anger or anxiety, paralysis or pity, lashing out or dropping out, giving out or giving up. So hope has to be a defiant choice.

Because . . .

Hope is a fist in the face of surrender.

When a staggering blow, a crushing loss hits, defiant hope chooses to respond with three courageous affirmations:  

1. I will not deny my pain.  


2. I will not be defined by my loss.  


3. I will rely on an unseen but certain Hope beyond the hurt.

There are defiant hope choices I’ve seen wounded people make that have taken their life higher than ever before—choices that have redeemed their brokenness and recycled it into hope for other broken people. 

Somewhere, buried beneath your grief and agonized questions is a plan. It’s unseen right now. But it’s certain.

If you focus on that, you can make the choices that will redeem this pain rather than deepen it.

Battle the storm of grief head-on, doing your best to make the choices that unleash hope.