Complement: A 5-Day Devo for WomenSample

DAY 3 - Serving and Submitting in Marriage 

Becoming a servant doesn't bring glory to a person. Think about it for a second: to become a servant means to give yourself to someone else. For their sake. 

I can say with confidence today that I serve my husband well in our marriage. But it’s not because of what’s in it for me. It’s because of how much God loves me. I want to be an emulator of Jesus; therefore, I want to be a woman who serves her husband well.

Now I get it if this idea of being your husband’s servant strikes you the wrong way. Even my own defenses go up when I hear a sermon about wives serving their husbands. I find myself thinking, “What’s the final point of this sermon because I need to know if I can trust you. I need to know if you value me, or if you’re telling me to be a doormat with no mind of my own.” Here’s what I’m really asking in those moments: “Are you saying the same things to the men in the room as you’re saying to me?”

Servanthood within a marriage is not designated for wives only. It’s not that only wives serve and only husbands lead. Absolutely not. Both partners should live with a servanthood attitude that seeks to serve each other as an overflow of our hearts. We don’t do it to earn the other’s love or to fit a cultural norm. We do it because our love for God moves us toward serving everyone around us. And I said everyone for a reason. We can’t forget that we are all called—every single one of us—to “serve one another through love.” God calls every single one of his people to serve well-  every single one of his people. Yes, there’s a “servant class” in the kingdom of God—and every single citizen is in that class! Serving each other is an equal opportunity command! So it makes sense that serving “one another” includes our husbands—more than that, I think it should start with our husbands.

Again, I realize how this clashes with what we naturally want. We tend to be a transactional society. We often think, What will I get if I do something for you? What will you do for me in return? We keep track, we keep score, and we refuse to go above and beyond unless we’re reasonably assured of getting a return on our investment.

But I’d like to present a different way of seeing your marriage. What if you both tried to “outserve” each other, to see which one could serve the other more? You serve because you love. You serve because you’ve been loved and been served so deeply by the Father. There’s no expectation, no penalties, no scorekeeping, and both of you just give and give and give.

That’s a sure-fire win in my book.

Discuss your spouse:

• Give an example of a time Jesus demonstrated his leadership through love, service, and submission. How do his actions encourage—and empower—you to better love your spouse? 


• Pray together that God would give each of you an attitude of “outserving” one another. (When you see God’s working this way in your spouse this week, verbalize it and thank him for it!)