The OneSample

Prayer: Father, give me wisdom in how to best pursue romantic relationships that are healthy and fulfilling. There is so much room for hurt, but I know that there is also an opportunity to honor one another in a beautiful way. Teach me today through the example set thousands of years ago!

Attention & Affection

We love talking about love. Maybe you don’t want to talk about it in certain settings or at certain times or with certain people, but there is an untold number of stories, movies, books, articles, and social media posts dedicated to the idea of romantic love. Many times, we talk about “falling in love,” which sounds like you can simply find yourself at the mercy of love represented as a pit you get dropped into regardless of personal preference. But this is not entirely how love works.

The truth about affection is that it can be directed with intentional attention. Where I focus my attention over time will have a significant effect on when and how my affections are stirred. If I’m looking to buy a house, and all I’m really looking at is countertops & wall paint colors, I will find myself more interested in houses that could have terrible plumbing or broken foundations. However, if I walk into that search knowing what to look for, I can be more confident in my decision leading to the outcome I truly desire.

In Genesis 24, Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for Isaac, and that servant knew exactly what he was looking for. He wanted a woman who was devoted to the Lord, disciplined in her lifestyle, and heading in the same direction as Isaac. If we are intentional with our own attention, we can still find ourselves attracted to qualities or behaviors that are not ultimately best, but we will also find ourselves shaping our own affections to be more in line with our God’s.

Look in the Word:

• Why was Abraham adamant about his servant avoiding Canaanite women in the search for Isaac’s wife?


• What character traits are revealed by Rebekah’s words and actions in this passage?

What’s Next? 

• Whether you’re single, dating, engaged, or married, take some time to write an honest list of the top ten qualities you are looking for in a spouse. Ask yourself why you tend to focus on these particular qualities.


• Pray over the list and ask the Lord if there are any qualities that should be added, edited, or removed from your list.