Should You Confess Your Struggle? 

A major issue for most guys in moving beyond porn is their ambivalence. They may deeply yearn to never use it again, in one moment, only to run back to it quickly in the next. Like a person attempting to quit smoking, they just can’t keep their commitment to stop. That’s why confession is a helpful first step. It gets you off the fence of ambivalence. And chances are you’ve never told anyone about your personal struggle. So once you’ve confessed it to God, confess it to a brother in Christ who will hold your confession carefully and confidentially. 

But think this through carefully. Who can you confide in? Who will support you and pray for you? That’s who you want to tell. Make it intentional. Set up a time to meet and follow through. Oh, but don’t do so just because I’m suggesting it. A true confession is never coerced. 

Remember the story of the woman caught in adultery (see John 8:2-11)? One morning, while Jesus was teaching in the courtyard of the temple, a group of Pharisees and teachers of the law burst in dragging a woman behind them. “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery!” they shouted. “The law says we are to stone such a woman. What do you say?”

There was deathly silence. Jesus bent down and wrote in the sand. When the men continued to pester him, he said, “If any of you is without sin, throw the first stone!”

The angry little mob fell silent and stole away, one by one. The trembling woman and Jesus were left standing together.

“Where are they? Has no one condemned you?” he asked her.

“No one.”

Jesus brushed the dirt from his hands. “Then neither do I condemn you,” he told her. “Go now, and leave your life of sin.”

I’ve often wondered if Jesus really meant to say that. I mean, shouldn’t he have gotten her to promise to change before pronouncing his forgiveness? That’s how most of us think. But that’s not Christ’s way of responding to guilt. 

Jesus did not want a coerced confession motivated by fear. He wanted her to choose a better way of living in order to be a better person. And that’s exactly what he wants for you. And it begins when your heart is ready to confess it.  

Here is what we know about confession. It brings healing. 

...confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so you may be healed. James 5:16 

Today, ask God to help you. Ask Him to help you find someone you can share this addiction with. And ask Him to give you enough courage to share it so you can be healed.